Demands Versus Preferences
Almost all of life’s upsets and problems come from demanding rather than preferring types of thinking. People who feel anxious, angry, and guilty don’t just prefer or desire something, they also demand, dictate, and require that they receive what they want. For example, a woman might demand that everyone accept and approve of her in every respect, generating her own anxiety when she fails to receive such attention. Or a man might dictate that others treat him thoughtfully and fairly, becoming hostile when they don’t. He might further require that everything in life be pleasurable and trouble free, browbeating himself when the going gets tough.